Headless Body In Topless Bar: Writing headlines with spark.

“Headless Body In Topless Bar.” It’s still one of my favourite ever headlines. 

You want to know more. You want to know what on earth happened. You’d definitely read the next bit of the story, right? 

And, ever since headlines were invented, that’s been their purpose. Grab your attention. Intrigue you. Compel you to read more. 

Back in the day, of course, there were people whose job it was to write those headlines. It was a speciality. 

Today, of course, things are slightly different. We write headlines to not just compel the reader to read on, but to compel Google to recognise us. Here we are *waves frantically*. Pick me, pick me! 

We write headlines containing keywords, long-tail phrases that we hope people will search for. Keyword focused headlines that we hope will entice the Google Overlord to shine light from the end of its finger upon us. 

And, as a result, we’ve traded the funny and quirky for the mundane and dull. We’ve gone for the bot audience rather than a human audience. 

Of course, we simply can’t replicate online what used to happen in print, as the very people we want to hook wouldn’t get there in the first place. So we need to be found. 

Google no longer just matches search terms with keywords, it’s far, far more intelligent than that (as a test, search for ‘movie that makes fun of Star Trek’). It is interpretive, it joins dots. You don’t need to do its job for it, as long as – in its collective state – the content you’ve put together is clear about its topic. 

The backend is where a lot of the search engine optimisation (SEO) action happens, and unless you’re the person uploading the content you won’t know whether it’s being done correctly or not. 

As well as it being clear what your content is about (on-page SEO), there’s a tonne of work that needs to be done off-page. Meta fields need filling, tags need inserting (in many content management systems [CMS] you can even put in an alternate headline for SEO) – however, you can’t see it on the website. Unless you’re in the back end you won’t know – your content uploader can publish regardless, and all will appear fine on your website. 

So, of course, SEO is important. Vitally important. However, the ideal scenario is you create a headline that gives Google enough information to know what it’s about, but is primarily written for your audience, your reader, to click on the link, to read the story, to engage with you and your brand. 

Curiosity and emotion – a killer combo 

In order to create a top headline, you need a few things. You need an incentive. You need emotion. You need to conjure up some curiosity.

There are some headline analysing tools out there which can be great to use from an interest point of view, but ultimately it shows you how your headline compares against the performance of other headlines on Google. It tells you if your headline is too long or too short. It will let you know if you’ve got too many words, or too few.

And it’s all interesting stuff. However, it doesn’t take into account your audience or your brand identity. It only serves to make us more the same, rather than accentuate our differences. 

As an example, this blog piece headline scored 57/100 in one such tool. ‘How to create the perfect headline for WOOHOO success’ scored 75/100. Go figure.

Through all of this thought, what we can’t do is lose sight of who we’re creating content for in the first place. Our customers and clients, and people who we want to be our customers and clients. We want them to find us, and we want them to engage with us. The former is a complete waste of time if the latter doesn’t occur. 

So research your SEO and topics that people will be searching for. Please. Because it ensures you’ll be on the right track. 

But then sprinkle it with some of your own magic. Make it yours. Add some sparkle. 

Meanwhile, I’m off to find out just what this headless person was up to.